Good parenting and bad parenting. I’m sure you have heard of this somewhere. While I know you already have an idea on what’s this about, still, there are many parents who are insensitive to the ways on how they deal with their children. They are not aware that what they’re doing actually has an impact on their child’s behavior, personality and social skills in the long run.
This may be because what they think they’re doing is right and for the benefit of their children but, most of the time, that is not the same. So, we are going to discuss the parenting styles and effects of bad parenting on children.
Parenting style is the behavior that parents use to discipline and raise their children. It can affect everything – from the way a child sees herself to the way she socializes and communicates to other people. It’s important to ensure that the parenting style you’re using is supporting healthy growth and development because it will greatly influence your child’s behavior and personality for the rest of her life.
Sometimes, parenting styles are influenced by some factors like an unhappy marriage, an unhappy childhood, etc. which can lead to bad parenting. So if you think that your parenting style is turning to be a bad parent, and is caused by one of these factors, like an unhappy marriage, you might want to consider marriage therapy to not further influence your parenting style.
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Does any of these statements sound true to you?
- Most of the time, you don’t take into consideration your child’s feelings.
- When it comes to discipline and rules, you believe that there are no other rules, but yours.
- Most of the time, your child’s sentiments and good behaviors are not seen or heard.
If these three statements are true to you, then your parenting style is Authoritarian. The authoritarian parenting style focuses on obedience and punishment over discipline. Authoritarian parents believe that their kids should follow all the rules without exception.
Authoritarian parents always say the words, “Because I said so,” when their kid questions the reasons behind a rule. They are primarily focused on obedience and have little to no interest in regards to negotiation.
For authoritarian parents, it’s all about rules and consequences with little consideration to their child’s feelings and opinions. They use punishments instead of discipline. Because of this, they are teaching their children to feel sorry for their mistakes and not on how to make better choices.
As a result, children who grow up with these kinds of parents tend to follow rules all of the time. However, studies show that children raised under authoritarian parenting are at a higher risk of developing self-esteem problems because their opinions are not important and valued. They will continue to doubt themselves and have little to no self-esteem until their parents told them their opinion matter.
There also studies that show that children of authoritarian parents can also grow aggressive and hostile. Since they feel that they are not heard and valued, they often focus on the anger they have towards their parents rather than becoming a better person.
Permissive Parenting Style
Are you familiar with these statements?
- You often set rules but rarely or never reinforcing them.
- You think your kid will learn better if there is little to no interference from you.
If you are this kind of parent then you are under the permissive style. Permissive parents are lenient – they do not reinforce rules and believe in the saying, “kids will be kids”. They often allow children to get all the good things, “if they promise to be good”.
Permissive parents often believe that it is important to be a friend to their kids than to be a parent. They are the parents who often encourage their children to talk about their problems but makes little to no effort in discouraging bad choices and behavior.
Studies show that kids of permissive parents are more likely to struggle academically because they don’t understand rules and authority. They are also most likely to have health problems like obesity because permissive parents don’t know or just doesn’t enforce good habits.
Uninvolved Parenting Style
The third parenting style is called Uninvolved Parenting. Examples of this style are:
- Not spending time on your own child.
- Rarely knowing your child’s friends and location.
- Rarely asks or care about your child’s activities and homework.
If you’re this kind of parent, then you are under the uninvolved parenting style. From the word “Uninvolved”, it means that you simply don’t care or spend time with your child. You tend to have little knowledge of your child’s activities and because you this, you provide little to no guidance, parental attention, and nurturing to your own children.
Uninvolved parents may be considered neglectful but not always intentional. Most of the parents under this parenting style expect children to be responsible for raising themselves because these parents are often overwhelmed by bills, work, and other things that they lack knowledge of their child’s growth and development.
Studies show that children of uninvolved parents often have mental health, self-esteem issues, and often ranks low in happiness.
Authoritative Parenting Style
The authoritative parenting style is the last and I can say the best parenting style of all four. Authoritative parents often do these things:
- Enforcing rules and consequences while considering their child’s feelings.
- Explaining the reasons behind the rules they established.
- Putting a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive parent-child relationship.
If you are not under the first three styles and the above statements are true to you, then you are an authoritative parent. Authoritative parents create a positive relationship with their children and enforce rules. They make their children feel that they are being heard while also establishing an authoritative figure.
Authoritative parents often use positive discipline strategies rather than punishment and they often prevent bad behaviors before they even start.
Studies show that children of authoritative parents are most likely to become responsible adults, happy, successful, comfortable in saying their own opinion, and good decision-makers.