It was a hot day and I wore shorts even though I previously never wore them, because my body just was not fit for the short stuff. Yet the desire to lose weight was stronger than anything and I still endured the sweat on the back of the lodge while I was seated in the first meeting in the institution where they help the obese to lose weight. Then I had over 206 pounds and I never wanted to hear about that figure again.
If someone had said then that I would for a short time weigh half as much as I was then, I would not have believed him. Now I have 122 pounds and although I learned a lot on the long journey of weight loss, there are still things I do not know yet.
It seems to me that my time is not yet finished. Almost all my life I struggled with the excess pounds and what I could not understand for a long time, is that my obesity was not a disease but a consequence.
I blamed the excess pounds for all the failures in my life. The first step to weight loss had nothing to do with food, but with the way I communicate with everyone. I was my own worst counselor because I tried using an insult to motivate myself. Constant lying to myself and reassured that only a lack of pounds for me meant success. It was a real roller coaster that I was steadily driven in a circle with no real motivation and results.
The truth is that my weight is just a number on the scale, not the settings for my life.
If you achieve the desired figure, it will not change a lot of things in your life. Fewer pounds won’t be good enough, because you need to feel good, to be good.
Fewer pounds will not make me more beautiful, because I have all the time to be beautiful and will not make that people who did not like me to start loving me. If you lose weight and are still unable to control things that are beyond your control, which will not make you perfect. Thinner waistline will not make you happy, because so many other things contribute to my happiness.
When I realized what weight loss will not do a lot in my life, then is the time when I realized that this figure does not control my life. Then I realized how many people actually have little control over the world. I realized that many of the problems will not be solved with weight loss, and today when I realized what I wanted, I realized that I was living a life in fear. Now I want to spend the rest of my life freely.